Monday, March 24, 2014

From Psychology Today Magazine - The Relationship between sensitive people and narcissists


http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201305/the-relationship-between-sensitive-people-and-narcissists


Many highly sensitive people have asked me why they so often end up in relationships with narcissists or other negative types of people, who take advantage of us, drain our energy and take our kindness without giving anything in return. Whether these people are co-dependents, addicts, abusive, or narcissists, they disrespect our boundaries, blame, criticize and make us feel so bad about ourselves that we don’t have the energy to leave. So what is it about sensitive people and narcissists that creates such an attraction and leaves such a trail of destruction?HSPs are compassionate and empathetic by nature. We feel other people’s pain instinctively and want to help. In addition, narcissists are experts at manipulation and control, so they will use your big heart for their own ends (see my post The Highly Sensitive Person and the Narcissist). HSPs can feel such intense love and compassion for people that we can believe our love can heal others. And often other people are so amazed and relieved by receiving this much love and understanding, they respond with enormous gratitude and often flattery. Sensitive people respond to this praise by feeling good about ourselves and feeling needed and so we give more. But as this pattern continues, we end up giving until we’ve got nothing left and getting nothing in return, under the mistaken belief that if we just give a little more, it will be enough. But it’s never enough because the narcissist is an empty vessel, a bottomless pit of need.
What’s important to remember is that it’s not your love they need. It’s their own. You will never be able to ‘fix’ anyone. What’s more, you shouldn’t. Everyone has their own path to follow and to become a whole and healthy person, everyone needs to walk that path on their own, making their own mistakes, learning to pick themselves up, and discovering how to love themselves. Without those valuable lessons, a person will never have enough love to give to someone else. Trying to get a narcissist to love you is like carrying a baby around in your arms and waiting for them to start walking. Sometimes helping too much can leave the other person crippled. They need to learn on their own.
Unfortunately, without learning to love themselves, hurtful people spend their lives trying to get the love they’re missing inside from someone else. That someone else is often a sensitive person because we have Compassion written all over us. But don’t let it be you. You are not responsible for someone else’s journey. What you are responsible for is your own journey, your own feelings, your own life. You don’t need to feel good about yourself by depending on others to tell you you’re a kind person or thanking you for helping them or making you feel needed. Relying on someone else to make you believe these things will only make you dependent on them, and then you will become a victim once again. You need to give all that to yourself. Show up with everything you need in your own back pocket. Know that you are a good and kind person, know that you are capable of enormous compassion and love and know that you are deserving of love yourself. If the other person doesn’t reflect that in the way they treat you, it’s time to leave.
The following are further reasons why HSPs are often attracted to narcissists:
1. Our giving nature means we often put other people’s needs before our own.
2. We’re so open we take on other people’s stuff like emotional storage containers.
3. If you have low self-esteem you can overlook the signs that things aren’t right, that you aren’t being treated right and so you ignore the injuries to your self and let it continue.
4. If you feel like a victim or have been victimised in the past, you will project that belief outwards. Narcissists will pick up on it and home in on you as a target. (See my post Feeling Like a Victim)
5. HSP’s sensitivity to other people’s feelings means it can feel wrong to say no. We think since we can feel it, we must do something about it. But we are not responsible for other people’s feelings.
The way to stop attracting narcissists is to change your beliefs about yourself and the way you feel about yourself. Here’s how:
1. Set up boundaries to keep yourself safe. Learn to let in people who will be there for you and keep out the people who only want something from you. I highly recommend the book Boundaries for specifics on how to set and enforce your boundaries and keep negative people out of your personal space.
2. Focus on your positive qualities and feel good about yourself, by yourself. Write in a journal to get your feelings out and develop an awareness of who you are, your feelings and your beliefs. Read back over what you’ve written over a period of weeks or months to see how you’re responding to situations and you’ll begin to see patterns in your behaviour and your beliefs about yourself and your relationships.
3. Learn how to use your sensitivity and empathy for the good. Two of the best uses are helping other people in a volunteer or charitable role and channelling it into a creative pursuit. Using your creative energy, in either volunteering or creative ways, will help you to feel grounded. You will feel a sense of belonging and connection to the wider world, and that you have an essential place in it. By shifting your energy into an activity you are passionate about, you will also give yourself something positive to focus on so that you’re not focusing solely on giving to someone who is making demands of your energy and attention. At the same time, you will be filling your life with positive feelings. Without this connection, you can feel frightened and alone and afraid to let go of what’s bad for you and too easily forget that you are connected to everything and that you are loved and safe. 

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Latin is the language of the "law"



http://www.thetipsbank.com/latin.htm



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Great Romans and their quotations :-




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Commonly used Latin Phrases

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V -
A
a cappella - in the chapel style, without instruments
a mensa et thoro - from board and bed (legal separation)
a posteriori - from what comes later
a priori - from what comes before
a verbis ad verbera - from words to blows
ad absurdum - taken to absurd lengths, to an absurd extreme
ad hoc - to this particular purpose
ad hominem - according to the person
ad infinitum - going on forever
ad interim - for the meantime
ad libitum (ad lib) - as one pleases
ad locum - at the place
ad nauseam - to the point of making one sick
addendum - an item to be added
advocatus diaboli - devil's advocate  (Someone takes a position solely for the sake of a discussion or argument.)
agenda - things to be done
Alea iacta est. - "The die is cast." (Julius Caesar)
alias - otherwise
alibi - elsewhere
alma mater - nurturing or nourishing mother (refers to the university one has attended)
alter ego - another "I" or another self
alumnus - from the word "alere" meaning to nurture, a graduate of a school or university Feminine form is alumna, plural - alumni.
amicus curiae - friend of the court
amor patriae - love of country
Amor vincit omnia. - Love conquers all.
anno (an.) - year
Anno Domini (A.D.) - In the year of the Lord
anno mundi - in the year of the world
annus horribilis - a horrible year (Queen Elizabeth II described 1992.)
annus mirabilis - year of wonders
ante - before
ante cibum (a.c.) - before meals
ante meridiem (a.m.) - before noon in the period from midnight to noon.
ante mortem - before death
ante prandium (a.p.) - before a meal, especially lunch
antebellum - before the war
aqua vitae - water of life (spirits, wine/brandy)
argumentum ad populum - A fallacious argument; because many people believe something it is not necessarily true
ars gratia artis - art for art's sake
Artium Baccalaureus - Bachelor of Arts (BA)
Artium Magister - Master of Arts (MA)
Audaces fortuna iuvat. - Fortune favours the bold.
Audio, video, disco. - I hear, I see, I learn. (Smile!)
aurora borealis - northern lights
Aut vincere aut mori. - Either conquer or die.
ave atque vale - hello and goodbye

B
bis in die (bid) –twice a day
bona fide -in good faith


C
Carpe diem. - Seize the day. (literally "pluck” the day)
casus belli - an act used to justify war
causa mortis - cause of death
Caveat. - Let him/her beware.
Caveat emptor. - Let the buyer beware.
Caveat lector. - Let the reader beware. (Text might not be accurate.)
circa (ca.) - around or approximately, usually used with dates.
circulus vitiosus - vicious circle
citius altius fortius – “Faster, higher, stronger” (Olympic motto)
Cogito ergo sum. - "I think therefore I am." (René Descartes)
commune bonum - the common good
compos mentis - of sound mind
consensu omnium - by the agreement of all
Consummatum est. - It is completed
Cui prodest scelus, is fecit. - The one who derives advantage from the crime is the one most likely to have committed it. - Seneca .
culpa - a sin
cum - with
cum grano salis - with a grain of salt
cum laude - with praise
curriculum vitae - the course of one's life (resumé)
D
de facto - in fact
de iure - according to law
De mortuis nil nisi bonum. – Say only good about the dead.
Deo gratias. - Thanks be to God.
deus ex machina - god from the machine (contrived solution usually to a literary plot)
De gustibus non est disputandum. - There is no arguing tastes.
Deus vobiscum. - God be with you.
Divide et impera - Divide and conquer.
Dominus vobiscum. - The Lord be with you.
Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori. “It is sweet and honourable to die for one's country." (Horace)
Dum spiro, spero. - While I breathe, I hope.

E
E pluribus unum - "From many, one." - a national motto (USA)
Ecce homo. - Behold the man.
editio princeps - first printed edition
eiusdem generis - of the same kind
emeritus - from merit (often used to refer to a retired professor)
eo ipso - by that very act
ergo – therefore (used to show a logical conclusion)
Errare humanum est. - To err is human.
erratum - error
Esse quam videri - to be rather than to seem
et alii (et al.) - and others (used to abbreviate a list of names)
et cetera (etc.) - and the rest, nowadays also "and others", "and so on", "and more")
et sequens - and the following
Et tu, Brute - "And you, Brutus?" (quotation from William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar)
ex - out of
ex animo - from the heart (sincerely)
ex cathedra - with authority
ex Deo - from God
ex dolo - intentionally
ex gratia - from kindness or from grace (referring to someone performing an act out of kindness as opposed to being forced to do it)
ex libris -from the books (library) of
ex more - according to custom
ex officio - from the office (when someone holds one position by virtue of holding another, for example, the U.S. vice president is ex officio president of the Senate)
ex post facto - from what is done afterward, of a law with retroactive effect.
ex tempore - right away, immediately
excelsior - higher, ever upward (NYS motto)
Exceptio probat regulam. - The exception proves the rule.
extempore - without premeditation
exempli gratia (e.g.) - for the sake of example, usually translated "for example."
Exeunt. - They leave.
Exit. He/she leaves.
extempore - without premeditation

F
facile princeps - acknowledged leader
Facsimile. - Make a similar one. (origin of the word fax)
facta, non verba - deeds, not words
Factum est. - It is done.
Fiat - Let it be done.
Fiat lux. - Let there be light.
finis - the end
flagrante delicto - in the act of committing a crime
Flamma fumo est proxima. - There is no smoke without fire.
Fugit hora. - The hour flies.

G
gloria - glory
gloria in excelsis Deo - glory to God in the highest

H
Habeas corpus. - You must have the body.  (You must justify an imprisonment.)
hic et nunc - here and now
hic iacet - here lies
Homo sum. - I am a man.
honoris causa - for the sake of honor
Horas non numero nisi serenas. - I only count the sunny hours. (common inscription on sundials)
hora somni (h.s.) - at bedtime, literally at the hour of sleep

I 
ibidem (ibid.) - in the same place, usually in bibliographic citations.
id est (i.e.) - that is to say, sometimes "in this case," depending on the context
Ignorantia legis neminem excusat. - Ignorance of the law excuses no one.
imago Dei - image of God
imperium - absolute power
Imprimatur. - Let it be printed.
imprimis - in first place
inter arma silent leges - There is no law on the battlefield".
in absentia - in the absence of
in articulo mortis - at the moment of death
In camera -in secret (literally "in the chamber")
Incipit - Begin here.
index librorum prohibitorum - list of forbidden books
in dubio - in doubt
in duplo - in two
in effigie - in (the form of) an image
in esse - in existence
in excelsis - in the highest
in extenso - in long (form) that is complete, unabridged.
in extremis - in extremity
In fidem - to faith
in fine - at the end
In flagrante delicto - In flaming crime (caught in the act)
in flore - in bloom
in foro - in forum (in court)
infra - below, underneath
in futuro - in the future
in infinitum - to infinity
In loco - at the place
in loco parentis - in the place of a parent
In medias res - into the middle of things
in memoriam - in memory of
In nuce - in a nutshell
in perpetuum - for ever
in personam - against the person
in pleno - in full
in praesenti - at the present time
in principio - in the beginning
in propria persona - in person
in puris naturalibus - completely naked
in rem - against the matter (property)
in rerum natura - in the nature of things
In salvo - in safety
in se - in itself
in situ - in position
in totidem verbis - in so many words
in toto - totally,completely
in transitu - in passing
In triplo - in three (copies)
in usu - in use
in utero - in the womb
in vacuo - in a vacuum
In vino veritas. - In wine is truth.
in vitro - in glass
in vivo - in the living (thing)
incredibile dictu - incredible to say
inter alia - among other things
inter alios - among other people
inter se - between themselves
inter spem et metum - between hope and fear
inter vivos - between living (people)
intra muros - within the walls, not public
intra vires - within the powers
Ipsi dixit. - He himself said it.
ipsissima verba - the exact words
ipso facto - by the fact itself
ipso iure - by operation of the law
ius gentium - the law of nations
 
J
justitia omnibus - justice for all
 
K
Not used in Latin

L
lapsus linguae - a slip of the tongue
lapsus memoriae - a slip of the memory
Laus Deo - Praise be to God.
lex domicilii - the law of a person's home country
Lex lata - the law as it exists
lex loci - the law of the place
lex non scripta - the unwritten (common) law
lex scripta - the written law
Licentia poetica - Poetic license
literati - men of letters
locus delicti - the scene of the crime
locus in quo - the place in which something happens
Loquitur - He/She speaks.
lumen naturale - natural light
lusus naturae - a freak of nature
lux et veritas - light and truth
lux mundi - the light of the world

M
Magister Artium (MA) - master of arts
magna cum laude - with great distinction
Magnificat. - It magnifies.
magnum opus - the greatest piece of work
mala fide - in bad faith
manu propria (m.p.) - with one's own hand
mater - mother
materfamilias - mother of family
mea culpa - through my fault
Memento mori. - Remember that you must die.
memorabilia - memorable things
mens sana in corpore - a healthy mind in a healthy body
millennium (millennia) - a thousand year period
mirabile visu - wonderful to behold
Miserere. - Have mercy.
modus operandi (m.o.) - way of operating
modus vivendi - way of living
moratorium - a delay
Morituri te salutant. - Those who are about to die salute you.
 
N
Nascentes morimur. - From the moment we are born, we die.
Natura abhorret a vacuo. - Nature abhors a vacuum
ne plus ultra (also non plus ultra) "nothing more beyond" literally, the best or most extreme example of something.
nihil - nothing
nihil per os (n.p.o.) - nothing by mouth
nolens volens - whether unwilling or willing
Noli me tangere. - Touch me not.
nolle prosequi - not willing to prosecute (a legal motion to drop legal charges, usually in exchange for a diversion program or out-of-court settlement)
Nolo contendere - I do not wish to contend. (no contest - a plea that can be entered on behalf of a defendant in a court that states the accused doesn't admit guilt but will accept punishment for a crime.)
non mihi solum –not for myself alone
non sequitur - it does not follow
Nota bene (n.b.) Note it well.
nulli secundus - second to none
nunc pro tunc - now for then (effective from an earlier date)

O
O tempora, O mores! - "Oh the times! Oh the morals!" (Marcus Tullius Cicero)
oculus dexter (O.D.) - right eye
oculus sinister (O.S.) - left eye
Oderint dum metuant ~ Let them hate so long as they fear. Lucius Accius Better known perhaps as one of Caligula's favorite sayings
Odi et amo. – “I hate (her) and I love (her).” (Catullus)
Omnia vincit amor - Love conquers all.
onus probandi - the burden of proof
opera omnia - all works (the collected works of an author)
opere citato (op.cit) - in the cited work
ophidia in herba - a snake in the grass (hidden danger or unknown risk)
opus Dei - the work of God

P
panem et circenses - bread and circuses
pari passu - with equal step (moving together, simultaneously)
pater noster - our father
paterfamilias - father of the family
paucis verbis - in a few words
pax - peace
Pax vobiscum. - Peace be with you.
per annum - yearly
per capita - per head (per person)
per cent - per hundred
per diem - daily
per os (p.o.) - by mouth
per se - by itself
per qod - by virtue of and depending on external facts e.g. a libel would only be valid if the accuser were truly of good character. Opposite of per se.
per stirpes - per branch (used in wills to indicate that each branch of the testator's family should inherit equally)
persona non grata - person not wanted,
post bellum - after the war
post cibum (p.c.) - after meals
post facto - after the fact
post hoc - after this
Post hoc ergo procter hoc - A logical fallacy of ascribing causatiuon when it is not justified.
post meridiem (pm) - after midday, from noon to midnight
post mortem - after death
post partum - after childbirth
Post prandial - after eating.
post scriptum (ps) - written later, used to mark additions to a letter after the signature.
prima facie - at first sight
Primum non nocere. "First, do no harm." (Hippocrates)
primus inter pares - first among equals
pro bono (pro bono publico) - for the good of the public said of a lawyer's work that is not charged for.
pro forma - as a matter of form, formality
pro nunc - for now
pro patria - for one's country
pro rata - for the rate, (in proportion to the value)
pro re nata (prn) - as needed
pro tempore - for the time being, (temporary)
Probatum est - It has been proved.
punctum saliens - the outstanding (essential or most notable) point

Q
qua - in so far as
Quaere verum. - Seek the truth.
quaque die (qd) - every day
quaque hora (qh) - every hour
quaque mane (qm) - every morning
quaque nocte (qn) - every night
quater in die (qid) - four times a day
Quem deus vult perdere, dementat prius - Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad
Qui tacet consentit. - Who keeps silent, consents.
quid pro quo - this for that (a favor for a favor)
Quidnunc? or Quid nunc? - What now? (noun: a busybody or a gossip)
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? - Who will guard the guardians?
quo iure - by what law
Quo vadis - Where are you going?
quod erat demonstrandum (QED) - which was to be demonstrated
Quod est (qe) - which is
quorum - of whom

R
re - concerning
redivivus - come back to life
reductio ad absurdum - reduction to the absurd
referendum - something to be referred
regina - queen
Requiescat in pace. - (RIP) May he/she rest in peace.
Res ipsa loquitur. - The thing speaks for itself.
res iudicata – a judged thing (Legal concept: once a matter has been finally decided by the courts, it cannot be litigated again.)
rex - king
rigor mortis - the rigidity of death

S
salve - hello
satis - enough
scilicet (s.c.) - that is to say
Scripsit. - He/She wrote it.
semper fidelis – (Semper Fi) always faithful
semper paratus - always prepared.
sequens (seq) - the following (one)
sic - thus
Si vis pacem, para bellum - If you wish for peace, prepare for war
Sic vita est - Such is life.
Signetur (sig) - Let it be labeled.
sine anno (s.a.) - without year (unknown publication date)
sine cura - without a care
sine die - without a day (indefinitely)
sine qua non - something/someone indispensable
sine loco (sl) - without place
sine prole (sp) - without issue
statim (stat) - immediately
Sola scriptura - the idea that the holy book is doctrinally infallible and all required knowledge is to be found therin (A Theological concept.)
solum Deum prae oculis habentes - having only God before your eyes
status quo - the current state of being
Stet - Let it stand. (marginal mark in proofreading to indicate that something previously deleted or marked for deletion should be retained)
stricto sensu - in the strict sense
stupor mundi - wonder of the world
sub poena - under penalty of law
sub rosa - under the rose (secretly)
sui generis - of his/her/its own kind
sui juris - of one's own right (capable of legal responsibility)
summa cum laude - with highest praise
summum bonum - the highest good
summum malum - the supreme evil
Sunt omnes unum. - They are all one.
suo iure - in one's own right
suo loco - in a person's rightful place
supra - above

T
tabula rasa - blank tablet or slate
tacet - silence
tempore - in the time of
Tempus fugit. - Time flees.
terra firma - solid ground
terra incognita - unknown land
ter in die (t.i.d.) - three times a day

U
ut dictum - as directed
unus multorum - one of many (an average person)

V
 Vade in pace. - Go in peace.
vale - farewell
Vanitas vanitatum, omnia vanitas. - "Vanity, vanity, all is vanity." (Ecclesiastes, 1:2)
Veni, vidi, vici. - I came, I saw, I conquered.
vera causa - the true cause (of)
verbatim et litteratim - word for word and letter for letter
Verbum sapienti sat est. - A word is enough to the wise.
Veritas - truth
Veritas nunquam perit. - Truth never dies.
Veritas vos liberabit. - The truth will set you free.
versus (vs.) - against
veto - I forbid (a right to unilaterally stop a certain piece of legislation)
via - by way of
vice - in place of
vice versa - with places exchanged (in reverse order)
vide - see
Vis legis - force of the law
Vivat regina - Long live the queen.
Vivat rex - Long live the king.
vox populi - voice of the people




Saturday, August 18, 2012

Sunday, May 13, 2012

In-Briefs

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May 11, 2012
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May 10, 2012
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Ortel Discusses Volatility and Investment
Charles Ortel of the New York-based research firm Newport Value Partners discusses with LIGNET, in an exclusive interview, major changes affecting international investing. According to Ortel, “The name of the game now is volatility, and short-selling, and derivatives.” He also worries that small fortunes are being lost by retail investors who have not thought through the practical consequences of what is happening in the advanced countries.


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Frack Off




Ukraine Likely to Award Huge Gas Contracts to Shell, Chevron

May 10, 2012
| Energy
| Europe, Russia and Central Asia


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The Ukrainian government will soon name which firms won a competition to develop two large shale gas reserves . . . Reuters quoted a source today that Royal Dutch Shell will win the Yuzivska shale reserve, estimated to contain 2 trillion cubic feet of natural gas, and Chevron will win the Olesska reserve, believed to contain 0.8 to 1.5 trillion square feet of gas . . . ExxonMobil, Italy’s ENI, and Russian firm TMK-BP are also in the competition . . . if awarded the contracts, Shell and Chevron will partner with state firm Nadra Ukrainy and Ukrainian firm SPK-GeoService . . . Ukraine is estimated to have 42 trillion cubic feet of shale gas, Europe’s third largest reserve . the government is eager to rapidly develop its shale gas to reduce its reliance on Russia gas which has shot up in price and is causing friction between the two countries . . . although the fracking process necessary to extract the shale gas has attracted protests in many states – and is banned in France – protests that could delay or stop these deals are unlikely since the environmental movement in Ukraine is very weak.

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**Oil companies in the U.S. aren't allowing this administration's Big Government Control Freaks to keep them down and out.

The Ukraine's anti-fracking interest is very weak, so EFF U Environmentalist Frauds. Hope all our Oil Companies jump all over the world to make the best ENERGY deals by-passing a Congress by-passing Autocrat. You want Global, Global we'll get... leaving your ass in the dust... He can't take credit for the price of gas going down now either... He'll try, and since this is won't even make it to Fox News, unless they start getting a clue, neither will you. Don't buy his bullsh** .. Everything he's done has and will be to tear this country down to an impotent, weak, broken hollow shell, a replica of the man himself, a loser. Everything AMERICANS do will go against Treason and Tyranny. Vote for this guy and learn how to kiss the sky because you'll never regret anything more.... Don't be an Obama whore.